Relational health isn’t just about parent-child bonding—it includes the wider circle of adults who help raise your child.
Caregiving Environment
Parents are often seen as the central figures in a child’s development—but they’re not the only ones. According to a recent review (2021), children grow and thrive in a web of relationships, not just in a single parent-child dyad. This web includes grandparents, coparents, step-parents, and other extended caregivers. And these relationships—when emotionally supportive—can play a vital role in shaping a child’s social and emotional well-being.
The authors frame this concept within what they call relational health—the emotional quality of interactions between caregivers and children. It turns out that relational health isn’t just about warmth from a parent; it’s about how everyone in a child’s caregiving environment relates to one another, and how they support or strain the child’s development.
Grandparents as Relational Anchors
Today, many grandparents are not only cherished family members—they’re co-parents, caregivers, and sometimes primary guardians. According to the article, grandmothers—especially maternal grandmothers—can act as powerful buffers for children facing risk factors like harsh parenting or difficult temperament.
And their influence isn’t just emotional. Grandparents often help make critical decisions about food, routines, medical care, and even discipline. When these relationships are collaborative rather than conflictual, they can reduce stress for both the parent and the child.
Tips for Parents:
- Involve grandparents in meaningful ways, especially when they are emotionally available and invested in your child’s well-being.
- Have open conversations about boundaries, routines, and caregiving styles to reduce tension and promote consistency.
Coparents Beyond the Couple
Not all co-parents are married or even romantically involved. Co-parenting can involve divorced or separated parents, step-parents, grandparents, or others who share daily parenting responsibilities. What matters most is not the legal or biological relationship—but the quality of the collaboration.
The article highlights that supportive coparenting relationships are linked to better outcomes for children, regardless of family structure. When caregivers respect each other’s roles, share parenting goals, and avoid undermining one another, children experience more emotional security and fewer behavioral problems.
Tips for Co-parents:
- Check in regularly on how decisions are made and whether your approaches are aligned.
- Work through differences away from the child to maintain emotional stability in your child’s caregiving environment.
Who Counts as a Caregiver?
Relational health invites us to widen our view of who “counts” in a child’s development. Some children are raised by aunts, uncles, foster parents, or close family friends. Others live in blended families with step-siblings and new parental figures. And increasingly, same-sex couples and nontraditional households are part of the caregiving landscape.
Rather than insisting on a rigid model, Frosch et al. recommend focusing on the quality of relationships, not labels. Even when there is only one parent in the home, the presence of other consistent, emotionally attuned adults can support the child’s resilience and growth.
Tips for Parents:
- Recognize and nurture your child’s bonds with other safe, loving adults.
- Reflect on any internal biases you may have about who should or shouldn’t be involved, and evaluate their impact through the lens of relational health.
Supportive vs. Harmful Relationships: Not All Connections Are Protective
While relational health focuses on the emotional quality of caregiving relationships, it’s important to note that not all relationships benefit a child. Some relationships—especially those involving chronic stress, harsh discipline, or emotional unavailability—can do more harm than good.
The research reminds us that children are shaped not just by the presence of adults, but by the emotional safety those adults create. Frosch et al. (2021) point to findings that exposure to parental mental health issues, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), or highly reactive environments can disrupt a child’s ability to regulate emotions and trust others.
In contrast, supportive relationships—where children feel seen, soothed, and safe—build the foundation for resilience, even in challenging circumstances.
Tips for Families:
- If a caregiving relationship causes fear, emotional withdrawal, or confusion in a child, it may not be contributing to relational health.
- Seek help if there is ongoing emotional, verbal, or physical harm. Supportive adults—including therapists, educators, or pediatricians—can help you break that cycle and create safer, healthier connections.
The Role of Providers: Seeing the Whole Web
Healthcare and education professionals often interact only with a parent, but it’s important to see the whole caregiving network. The article calls on providers to ask inclusive questions like, “Who else helps care for your child?” and to tailor their advice and referrals to the full picture.
Rather than seeing parents as isolated decision-makers, we can support them better by acknowledging their caregiving team—and equipping that team with the tools to promote secure relationships.
Tips for Providers:
- Engage all caregivers present in a child’s life, not just biological parents.
- Use inclusive, strengths-based language that respects diverse family structures.
Conclusion: Build the Web—But Build It Safely
Children thrive when they are surrounded by emotionally responsive, developmentally supportive adults. Relational health is not just about being “involved”—it’s about being safe, consistent, and emotionally attuned.
Not all caregiving relationships are beneficial. When children experience harsh discipline, chronic stress, or emotional neglect from those closest to them, the very relationships meant to protect them can become sources of harm. But the reverse is also true: even in difficult circumstances, a few strong, supportive relationships can buffer against adversity and build resilience.
So, ask yourself: Who’s in your child’s web? Who brings safety, connection, and stability? And how can you strengthen those ties—for your child, and for yourself?
Because in the end, raising a child isn’t just about showing up. It’s about showing up in a way that heals, connects, and protects.
Join a discussion on this article or other topics at mamapedia.com
Understanding the Emotional Side of Feeding Your Child
Ideas for how to manage family complaints about nephew and his wife
Building Blended Families: Practical Tips for Parents
Source:
Frosch, C. A., Schoppe-Sullivan, S. J., & O’Banion, D. D. (2021). Parenting and child development: A relational health perspective. American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, 15(1), 45–56. https://doi.org/10.1177/1559827619849028 Online publication date is 2019.
Image and editing support provided by Chat GPT.
Start the discussion at forum.mamapedia.com