Why free time isn’t wasted time: Learn how child-led play supports executive function, emotional growth, and self-confidence according to research and real-life experience.
Unstructured Time Builds the Skills That Matter Most
About 25 years ago, I was interviewed by The New York Times journalist Andrea Higbie about summer activity schedules for children. At the time, I had two young sons of my own and was also practicing as a clinical psychologist with a specialization in children and adolescents. Then—as now—I believed deeply that children needed some unstructured time to explore their own interests, activities, thoughts, and imagination.
As a working mother, I still needed reliable child supervision in the summer. That meant a mix of day camps and in-home childcare. I also made sure my children stayed academically engaged by spending 20–30 minutes each day on math and language arts workbooks. The more focused they were, the more quickly they finished—and the sooner they could immerse themselves in their favorite part of the day: unstructured play.
My older son especially loved the freedom. He would spend over an hour setting up an elaborate play scenario in the basement or the back yard—carefully arranging props for a fantasy quest that he and his brother would then act out for the rest of the afternoon. Watching them, I saw how deeply children can engage when their time is their own. Even at ages six and four years they set a goal for their quest, planned how to reach that goal, overcame imaginary obstacles and found success. When other children were over, all the better because the quest could be more elaborate.
That personal experience—and decades of psychological research—continues to affirm what I’ve long believed: unstructured time is not wasted time. It is foundational to healthy development, resilience, creativity, and lifelong skills.
What Children Really Need: A Developmental Framework
Psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed that humans grow through a hierarchy of needs, beginning with basic survival and moving toward self-fulfillment. At the top sits self-actualization—the realization of one’s potential.
Unstructured time supports nearly every level of that hierarchy:
- Safety and stability: Calm, familiar environments support emotional grounding.
- Belonging: Play with siblings or peers helps develop social bonds.
- Esteem: Independent decision-making and mastery during play build self-confidence.
- Self-actualization: Free time allows for creative expression, curiosity, and intrinsic motivation.
Over-scheduling can leave little room for children to meet these needs in a developmentally natural way. Balance matters.
Executive Function Grows in Free Time
Executive functions are the core mental skills that help kids focus, plan, remember, and regulate emotions. These include:
- Working memory: The ability to hold and use information in your mind for a short period—like remembering multi-step instructions or the rules of a game while playing.
- Inhibitory control: The skill of pausing before reacting—like resisting the urge to interrupt, grab a toy, or act impulsively.
- Cognitive flexibility: The capacity to shift attention, adapt to new rules, or see something from another person’s point of view—like adjusting to a change in plans or switching roles during play.
Barker and colleagues (2014) found that children who spent more time in less-structured activities—such as informal play, reading, or imaginative time—showed better self-directed executive functioning. In contrast, more time in adult-led activities predicted weaker self-regulation.
Executive functioning is essential for academic success, problem-solving, and independence. And it develops most strongly when children practice making their own decisions.
Pretend Play as Brainwork
Pretend play—especially the kind children initiate themselves—isn’t frivolous. It’s a cognitive workout.
Children who role-play, invent characters, or create fantasy scenarios are engaging in tasks that challenge their memory, planning, self-control, and mental flexibility. Lillard et al. (2013) reviewed decades of research and found strong evidence that frequent, rich pretend play improves core executive functions, while also supporting emotional understanding and creativity.
Emotional, Social, and Physical Growth
Beyond brain development, unstructured time supports the whole child:
- Emotional resilience: Play helps children process emotions and learn to cope with challenges.
- Social skills: Negotiating play rules and roles builds empathy, cooperation, and leadership.
- Stress relief: Free time lowers cortisol and gives the nervous system a chance to reset—especially outdoors.
- Family connection: When parents join play without leading it, children feel seen, supported, and secure (Ginsburg, 2007).
How to Make Room for Free Play
Incorporating unstructured time doesn’t require overhauling your life. Here are manageable ways to get started:
1. Set aside “white space” each day
Block 30–60 minutes where your child decides what to do—with no screens, no schedule, and no interference. You can add white space time as your child’s play skills expand.
2. Provide open-ended materials
Give kids cardboard boxes, art supplies, blocks, nature objects, or costumes. Let them invent the rest.
3. Encourage boredom
Allow “I’m bored” moments to arise—and give them time to evolve into play.
4. Unplug together
Designate screen-free hours that invite exploration, not distraction. You might be amazed how much your child loves, loves, loves you joining into their free play in a non-directive and child centered way.
5. Go outside without an agenda
Unstructured outdoor time—especially in nature—supports physical, emotional, and cognitive growth.
Full Circle: A Personal Reflection
Looking back, those unscheduled afternoons in my own home were some of the most formative for my sons—not just because they were fun, but because they allowed room to be. To lead. To imagine. To grow.
As a psychologist, I’ve seen how important it is to make space for children’s self-directed experiences. As a mother, I’ve witnessed the joy and creativity that emerge when they have the freedom to follow their curiosity.
Unstructured time is not a luxury. It’s a necessity—one that allows children not just to rest, but to become.
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References
- Barker, J. E., Semenov, A. D., Michaelson, L., Provan, L. S., Snyder, H. R., & Munakata, Y. (2014). Less-structured time in children’s daily lives predicts self-directed executive functioning. Frontiers in Psychology, 5, 593.
- Ginsburg, K. R. (2007). The importance of play in promoting healthy child development and maintaining strong parent-child bonds. Pediatrics, 119(1), 182–191.
- Lillard, A. S., Lerner, M. D., Hopkins, E. J., Dore, R. A., Smith, E. D., & Palmquist, C. M. (2013). The impact of pretend play on children’s development: A review of the evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 1–34.
- Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396.
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